Everyday Days

Sierra, 2010

Brooklyn, 2010

Kaylee, Casey and Mesa 2009

Michael and his first car 2009

This weekend, due to the request of some little ones with colds, we introduced our littles to our "old family movies." We've watched these several times over the years, laughing at our 90's wear or poofy hair. But this weekend something different happened, something that made me angry!

Deep within the movies documenting our life almost 20 years ago, one astounding truth surfaced to the top. These movies held proof that time is slipping through my fingers. Right before my eyes, I saw my dark hair with no hint of my current grey tint. Images filled the screen with memories I no longer hold. And I was reminded of many firsts that I have pondered in my heart over the years... Michael's first lost tooth, Kaylee's chubby cheeks, Casey's first steps.

Unlike other times I have laughed at those silly days gone by, on this day, I was transformed to the days of yesterday, full of hope, joy and youthful dreams. Flashing before my mind were the days in between, racing me forward to today, days filled with a maturing reality that the only true hope is found in my God! Suddenly I remembered so many thoughts, so many memories of days I had wished away...mundane days, lonely days, sleepless nights with newborns, days when the only thing I could do was put one foot in front of the other.

A new reality emerged... it was these very days that carried me from yesterday to today. I am angry at the thought that there were days that I hurried my children along in my mind, longing for the day I could sleep all night or eat a meal in peace, read when I want to read. With one grown child now out of my home, my heart better understands the wise words of those who came before me reminding me how quickly they grow up. It is with this renewed vision I humbly ask the Lord to take captive any thoughts of "overwhelmedness" and continue to replace my selfishness with His selflessness in this calling to mother these hearts entrusted to me, to ponder the mundane, lonely, despairing days in my heart as well as the days full of firsts, vision and hope. For I now know that it will be all too soon when I watch days yet to come in our "old family movies." It is these days that march us forward to that glorious day when His days fill our everyday!

II Timothy 4:7 -8

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day-and not only me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

Your fellow sojourner,

Kimberly